Christians Contract Aids from Hugging!

Just when you think these motherf*ckers are crazy enough on the far right. They go and up it a notch. It's the gift that keeps on giving to theGOPisDEAD. :)

Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action.

To help the side-hug fad sweep the nation, let us present this hardcore rap song. Yup, side-hugging has hit the streets. The group has as many emcees as the Wu-Tang Clan and as much power as a barbershop quartet.

Look out for the ominous sirens blasting on the track. Clearly, these are gangsters on the run from the law - probably from side-hugging up a storm! One emcee (wearing his bandanna 2pac-style no less) admits to taking part in the forbidden front-hug. But don't worry, God. He's married.

At the end, they all simulate getting shot and dying. We can only hope there are side-hugs in heaven.

Sphere: Related Content

Family Values Tour With (R) Michael Duvall

So Messy Big Boy!
Morally bankrupt and loving every minute of it...on the microphone. DOH!

Michael Duvall is a conservative Republican state representative from Orange County, California. While waiting for the start of a legislative hearing in July, the 54-year-old married father of two and family values champion began describing, for the benefit of a colleague seated next to him, his ongoing affairs with two different women. In very graphic detail.

For instance:

"She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"

What we want to know at theGOPisDEAD; who is the colleague sitting next to him that is seemingly comfortable with a conversation about Duvall cheating on his wife? We want to know what that DOUCHEBAG's name is as well. Maybe another conservative buddy? Another family values champion? Maybe someone who is so okay with good ol' Duvall's account of lust and debauchery that he has his own lobbyist sex kitten? Maybe this is just an everyday encounter between two gutless cheating conservatives touting family values to the rest of us? Maybe... Sphere: Related Content