theGOPisDEAD is mischievously pleased to announce that yet another "Family Values" hypocrite has fallen from grace. Indiana Republican Rep. Mark Souder acknowledged an affair with a staffer Tuesday and unexpectedly announced his resignation. Further adding that his pecker over-took his good christian moral judgment. He plans to sue his pecker for defamation of character.
In an interview with FOX NEWS...
"I will not stand idly by and allow this to happen to my family. The damage my pecker has done is disgraceful, and I will fight to the bitter end against this evil monster that has attacked the core of my pious faith. I have sex with my wife once a year to procreate, and that's it!" he stated. "I swear to all of my christian brothers and sisters that my pecker has ruined my life, and he is nothing more than a faithless, GODless prick that is going to burn hell."
The law of defamation is supposed to protect people's reputations from unfair attack from wondering, reckless peckers. In practice its main effect is to protect powerful people from their own misgivings, lustful ventures, and hypocritical mishaps; otherwise known as "GETTING CAUGHT WITH YOUR DICK IN YOUR HAND."
The eight-term congressman apologized for his actions but provided no details.
"I am so ashamed to have hurt the ones I love," he said at a news conference in Fort Wayne. "I am sorry to have let so many friends down, people who have worked so hard for me."
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