Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Survival Seed Bank for the Apocalypse

Glenn Beck's dwindling list of advertisers got a healthy boost Monday from Survival Seed Bank, a new advertiser peddling seeds to grow "crisis gardens."

Survival Seed Bank markets itself as sort of food insurance should the American government and market collapse. In the Survival Seed Bank commercial that aired Monday, a pitchman sits before a TV showing scenes of breadlines and soup kitchens from the Great Depression and asks "Are you worried about the economy? Are you ever worried that the politicians and the bankers are going to bring the whole thing crashing down? If so, pay close attention, because in an economic meltdown, non-hybrid seeds could become more valuable than even silver and gold. Afterall, securing a source of food for your family is the single most important thing you can do."

The Survival Seed Bank pitchman reminds viewers at the end of the commercial to "prepare today" because "in an economic crisis, non-hybrid seeds are the ultimate barter item."


WARNING: THIS IS NOT A JOKE, BUT AN ACTUAL SPONSOR OF THE FUCKING LOON BECK SHOW...DUE TO THE HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER THAT WILL ENSUE, WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SOILED DRAWERS.
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